It Simply Read
by MadamBlack
Summary: Harry finally got to live with Sirius. As expected when living with Sirius Black, life is a blur of fun and chaos, and Harry loved it. It was just how Sirius affected Harry that put Harry on edge.


Ok, this is my first fic ever. So please be brutal. I need that right now. I need to know if I should ever write again, or enter the witness protection program.

But first I would like to give a HUGE thank you to me friend and beta JoJo (AKA jyderman). She helped me so much. And is great person to talk to.

Please read and review!

**IT SIMPLY READ**

Sirius walked in the room at ten o'clock sharp as always; just as Harry knew he would. He had been doing so for as long as Harry could remember. Well, at least since after Christmas of his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witch craft and Wizardry.

Everything had begun that year.

Flash Back

Harry had finally been given the opportunity to live with his godfather, Sirius Black; leaving the Dursleys and number Four Privet Drive behind him forever. The chain of events that allowed this to happen was indeed an unexpected one. Remus Lupin had captured Pettigrew attempting to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic, for whatever reason. Aurors had been called to the scene immediately, as well as the Minister of Magic himself. Cornelius Fudge had permitted the use of veritaserum due to the unusual circumstance and the potion had been administered without further delay. It surprisingly took a total of sixteen minutes of furious questioning for the regularly thick headed minister to sentence Peter Pettigrew to Azkaban Prison, for the murder of thirteen muggles, assisting the dark side, and the framing one Sirius Black.

Sirius had joyfully sold Grimmauld Place and promptly bought a nice, quaint, Mansion outside on London a beautiful green field where he and Harry could play Quidditch away from the prying eyes of muggles. Harry had moved in soon after, hoping to at last spend some quality time with Sirius. As expected when living with Sirius Black, life is a blur of fun and chaos, and Harry loved it. It was just how Sirius affected Harry that put Harry on edge.

Sirius was just so sexy, funny and when he smiled it just lit up a room, all the while making Harry's heart swell. Harry knew that he had a major infatuation with Sirius and he wanted to make sure that his little crush didn't get out of hand. Harry knew that if he were to fall in love with Sirius he would eventually have to tell him, but he was terrified of Sirius's reaction. He just had to keep his emotions under wraps, until the end of summer.

So, needless to say Harry was so glad when September first came around.

Harry was so glad to be away from his Godfather/Crush for at least until Christmas. So you could say he was a little, just a little surprised when he walked into the Great Hall and there sat Sirius Black with a great big smile on his face. That same smile that made Harry go weak in the knees; the same smile Harry had to endure all summer.

After the feast, Sirius had merrily informed Harry that he wanted to surprise him and that he was glad that now he would get to spend even more time with his one and only godson.

After that Harry stayed as far away as possible from his new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher/Godfather/Crush, which was rather amazing considering Sirius wanted to spend so much time together and they ate every meal in the same room and had to spend class time together.

It was the Christmas Eve and Ron and Hermione as well as most of the castle and all but three Gryffindors had gone home for Christmas beak. That night both Harry and Sirius had wandered up to the Astronomy Tower (How many fics happen to have a lemon scene in the Astronomy Tower? Well, not mine!) and now were talking animatedly about what everything and nothing. Sirius looked down at Harry at the same moment Harry looked up. Obsidian clashed with emerald when, all of a sudden it happened. Neither knew who initiated, but both were grateful. Lips met, and arms embraced. It was a kiss _and_ a sign of things to come.

And that is where it all began. And from that moment on they shared hidden kisses and snogs in empty classrooms. But Harry didn't fool himself he knew he was just an emotionless snog to Sirius, just away to relieve stress.

Then, around Easter break, after three months of snog sessions between the two Sirius met Harry in his room. (A/N: Harry has his own room for protection.) They had made mad, passionate love that night; it was a night neither Sirius nor Harry would soon forget. Ironically, it was exactly at ten o'clock that night like it has been ever since. It was like a routine for Harry now. Eat dinner, finish homework, have sex with Sirius.

However, Sirius never stayed. Never even said good-bye. That probably hurt the worst. Knowing that he wasn't even meaningful enough to stay the full night; knowing that he was just meaningless sex.

End Flashback

Harry smiled at the memories. He had been doing that now for almost a year. And he knew that there was more of reason then sex he had let Sirius into his bed. It was simple: He loved Sirius. And there was nothing more he could do about it. He had tried to stop it, but couldn't. And what was more he knew that Sirius would never feel the same about him. Sure they had these little nightly rendezvous but that was just physical pleasure and Harry knew it. He had to tell himself that frequently.

Harry looked up at the clock. It read nine-forty-five at night, Sirius should be here any minute. But tonight Harry was not in the 'mood' for Sirius or sex. Harry had, had a bad day. Not necessarily bad just depressing. He had realized that he had nobody to share his life with. George had Alicia, Fred had Angelina, Neville had Ginny, Dean had Seamus, Lavender had Justin Finch-Fletchley, Lee had Parvati and, lastly, Ron had Hermione. Before, all of them were single but now everybody had a special someone except him. And right now he really didn't need the added weight of knowing that the person he loves will make love to him but won't _love_ him in return.

Harry was startled out of his musings when the clocks stroke ten and Sirius walked through the door. Sometimes Harry wondered if Sirius just waited outside of his door until his clock chimes ten to walk through the door. But as usual Sirius walked over to Harry and took him into his arms and walked him over to the bed and started to ravish him. He lifted Harry's shirt over his head and threw onto the floor, not to be seen for many minutes. After Sirius began to re-attack Harry, sat strait up and looked at Sirius. Sirius mean while was giving Harry a strange look.

"What is it Harry?" Sirius asked tilting his head slightly to one side.

"It's just... well... It is just I am not really in the mood right now, Sirius. I am really sorry." Harry replied, genuinely sorry.

"It's ok Harry. You know I would never make you do anything you didn't want to."

"Thanks. I really am sorry you know?"

"Yeah. I know. So did you have planned for after me?"

"Well, seeing as we have been doing...well...this for months, nope. I expected tonight to go along in the same manner. The fact that we might not do...this...never crossed my mind. I never make any other plans. So, no there are no other plans that I have."

"Do you want to talk about what's the matter?"

Harry desperately wanted to tell Sirius everything that was the matter. But he didn't want Sirius to worry about him. He didn't want to tell the person to who he loved, that he didn't want _just_ sex; that he desperately loved him and was scared that he was going to die alone with nobody who loved him; that he was never going to have a meaningful relationship. Then Sirius would feel bad and want to have a relationship only because he knew I like him. No _loved_ him.

"Sirius I am fine I have just had a bad day." Harry sighed.

"Well, what was wrong with it?"

Does Sirius not catch a drift? I don't want to talk about it!

"Nothing."

_Sirius is not daft he knows something was the matter. I just told him there was something wrong!_

"Do you think I am daft? You yourself just told me something was the matter. Now, please tell me. I can't fix it unless I know what we're dealing with, here." (My mum tells me that all the time "I can't fix it unless I know what is the matter" Isn't it annoying?) Harry mentally giggled as Sirius did just as he knew he would.

Sirius was not getting it. He didn't want to talk about it.

"I don't want to talk about it. There is nothing you can do about it. Nobody can help unless a miracle happens." Harry said sadly.

"You don't know that. Please, just tell me, even if I can't help you could at least have someone to talk with it about. It isn't good to keep your emotions all bottled up" Sirius pried.

_God, Sirius was infuriating. I really didn't need this right now. But it is sweet that Sirius wants to talk to me. And he is trying to be the Godfather he think he should be. But that isn't what I want him to be. I want him to be so much more. Maybe I should tell him? But then what would he think of me? He would tell me I'm crazy, and say that he thought I understood that I were just a way to relieve stress. _

So, Harry did what any normal person would do.

Avoided the question.

"Your right. People shouldn't keep their emotions bottled up. Maybe you should tell me what the problem is and I could try and help you sort it out."

And surprisingly Sirius bought it.

"Well, you see it was... Hey! No changing the subject! We aren't talking about me." _Damn, I almost had him_. "Just tell me."

"No."

"Okay we will play a game. It goes like this; I take this bottle" Sirius conjured up a bottle. " We spin it, and whom ever it lands on the other gets to ask a question and the other has to answer honestly. But to make sure nobody lies" Sirius looked at Harry accusingly "They take this potion." Sirius waved his wand and a bottle of turquoise liquid appeared in his hand.

"Ok, fine" Harry answered dully.

They sat down in between the bottle and Sirius waved his wand and the bottle spun.

And spun.

And spun.

Then it finally slowed down and landed on Harry.

"Ok, now what is the matter?"

_How did I know he was going to ask that?_

There were many ways Harry could answer that question. But he chose to answer it the least informative and least incriminating as he could.

Harry took the offered potion and took a sip and answered the question

"Ron and Hermione are together."

"Oh."

Harry spun the bottle. And yet again it landed on himself.

"That isn't fair." Harry protested.

"Yes it is." Sirius teased.

"It is if it is you."

"I am just lucky I guess."

"Just ask the damn question." Harry pouted.

"Is that all that is the matter?"

Yet again Harry took the potion.

"No."

Sirius looked at Harry indignantly.

Harry spun the bottle, but this time it landed on Sirius.

"Ah ha! Ok..." Harry thought. "What were you about to tell me a minute ago?"

Harry was in anticipation.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. And then took the potion.

"I was going to tell you what was the matter."

Sirius spun the bottle. It landed on Sirius.

"Well, what is or was the matter?" Harry asked.

Sirius took the potion.

"I was worried about you."

Sirius spun the bottle.

It landed on Harry.

"What is your worst fear?"

Harry took the potion.

"That everybody just sees my fame and not me."

Harry spun the bottle.

It landed on Harry.

"What else is the matter?"

_I'm cornered_. Harry thought for a ling moment. _What can I tell him? He has me backed up. And I obviously can't tell him the truth. _

Harry took the potion.

"Everyone has someone and I have nobody."

"Oh."

That was all Sirius said. After that comment Sirius got up and left the room. Harry held in the tears until Sirius was out of the room.

After Sirius left, Harry just sat in the corner and cried. Harry cradled his face in his hands and let the tears roll down his face. He felt like he had, had his heart had been torn apart.

_I can't be like this. I have to pull myself together. It isn't the end of the world. _

_Then why does it feel like it is?_

_He isn't the only fish in the sea. _

_But he was the only perfect one. _

Harry gathered himself up and took himself into his bathroom and took a shower, and thought about everything. He finally figured that he should move on. Get Sirius out of his head. He knew it wouldn't be easy. But it had to be done. He couldn't go on like this; being depressed all the time. Half the time he had to fool himself into thinking that Sirius came to his room every night to see him. He had to make himself believed Sirius returned his love. But he couldn't do that any more. He couldn't handle lying to himself.

Harry went to sleep.

He woke up in the morning to an infuriating tapping noise on his window. As he went to open the window he recognized the owl as Sirius's.

Harry had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He opened the letter that could have been better described as a note.

Is simply read:

_**You have me and always will. And never think it is because of your fame. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Sirius Black**_

Harry knew right then and there that Sirius loved him as much as he loved Sirius.

When Sirius arrived at his room that night. The first thing he did (After picking Harry up and taking him over to the bed, that is) was tell Harry how much he loved him.

And that night after thoroughly ravishing Harry, Sirius stayed and slept by _his_ Harry's side.

So, how did you like it? Please if you liked it review if you hated it flame me! Thanks!


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